The more I thought about it, it doesn’t seem very “nice” of me to just alienate the people that might actually give a shit about me. So, I made another site. Not that this is a big issue or anything, but shutting out people who have sacrificed time to get to know me is one of the last things I’d want to do. If you truly care, go there if you’d like, if not, fuck off. I’m not here to entertain.

I guess I should put up a formal farewell. I’m done with updating, I may still comment on a select few sites, but that’s it. Too many fucking parasites, I merely entertain too many people, and I’m bored with this whole bitching about my useless stagnant existence and filtering out what I’d let people know versus things I’d like to keep private. I’ve flirted with the idea of ending this petty venting shit before, but now I see no reason not to go through with it. The people I’ve kept this site up for I talk to on AIM constantly. Don’t worry, all I’ve said is true. I’m still the depressed social secluded teenage angst extraordinaire that you’ve grown to find amusing rather than take seriously. For all the people that care, or at least portray a genuine compassionate attitude, thank you. For all of you who find my site nothing but an escape from absolute boredom, fuck off. I’ve never meant for you to think you know me. BYE

There was no school yesterday or today due the shit load of snow we just got. I don’t mind the snow at all, it’s just the shoveling part I dislike. Anything pertaining to physical labor on my part I am strongly against. One good side is that I got some money out of it. Now I get to go blow what money I have on penny whistles and moon pies. The majority of my time was spent playing guitar and watching Comedy Central. You just don’t need anything else. I’m sick of saying the same fucking things over and over again. So if you don’t know why I’m depressed, if you don’t know why I’m not dead by now, or anything else you‘d like to know, read my previous entries. Chances are I’ve covered the topic to a certain extent already. I’ve let the parasites feed for far too long. I’m done.

I could go on and on and beat around the bush of how I feel, but I find myself wondering deep inside looking for the strength to do so. I want to tilt my head back and slowly close my eyes, and sleep, and never become conscience again. Kurt Cobain said better than I ever could.

“I hate myself, and want to die.”

As I sink deeper into my sea of self loathing I find new shapes floating, waiting for me to take in and corrupt. My poison has infected everything thing I’ve touched, and I am sorry. I want to become clean, but my conscience tells me that I can not. As I swallow my confusion, I reach for the bleach. This is what hope I have.

“…can you hear my words, can you feel me breathing, can you tell I’m dying…” soil - why